Daisy Bach, a therapist, has always been certain that she did not want to have children. Her childhood experiences with an overbearing and controlling mother, Verity, who tore the family apart, further cemented this decision. However, at the age of forty-five, Daisy finds herself reconsidering this choice. Unfortunately, her decision to try and conceive is complicated by her mother's diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease. With strained family relationships, Daisy faces the daunting task of caring for her elderly parents while also attempting to conceive. As she navigates this challenging time, Daisy is forced to confront her deep-seated resentment towards Verity. This journey leads her to re-evaluate her beliefs about motherhood, forgiveness, and the true meaning of a "happy" family. Will Daisy find a way to reconcile with her past and make peace with her present? Only time will tell. (Synopsis courtesy of Goodreads.)
I appreciated the different viewpoints provided by key characters in Things We Do For Love. We delve into the inner workings of Daisy, along with her sisters Iris and Heather, and moments with both Verity and her husband Sol provide even more background into this family and the struggles that can come when managing a loved one with a brain disorder.
There is undeniable realism here. At one point, Daisy becomes insistent on finding a caregiver for her mother, because she doesn’t want to be the one who is “stuck” taking care of her. Her feelings stem from the resentment she has towards Verity, the way Daisy had been raised and never felt like she measured up to Verity’s impossible standards. I feel like a lot of media we see that shines a light on Alzheimer’s and other brain disorders will portray a strong family unit that despite everything, will pull together for the greater good. In reality, it isn’t always like that. Sometimes, there are stumbling blocks and a lot of deep-seated issues that need to be worked out first. It’s apparent there is a lot of that for Daisy.
It was also incredibly insightful to see Verity’s perspective. She highlights on just how much she focused solely on the family for decades, doing everything she could for her children and husband, with feeling loss at seeing those reins slip slowly from her fingers. Maybe she has been too hard on everyone, including herself, but it is tough not to feel for her and at some points, even identity with her point-of-view.
Things We Do For Love is a complex, relatable experience. Having a family member of my own who had dementia and seeing how that affected not just him but everyone around him, I could really relate to not only Daisy’s story, but Verity’s as well.
Thanks to Rachel's Random Resources for the book in exchange for an honest review.
Her stories are character-driven dramas, giving voice to the untold stories of women and their triumphs in today's society. Her mission? To illuminate the world with kindness and positivity, one story at a time.
Vered's words have touched countless lives through her multiple books on motivation and relationships. Her book "Financial Independence for Women" sold over 50,000 copies.
In 2010 Vered was awarded the TIAW World of Difference Award, an award given to women whose efforts have advanced women's economic empowerment locally, regionally or worldwide.
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