Go-to-Gay AND Chick Lit Cheerleader: The Name Game

Introduction by Melissa Amster

I thought it would be fun for our Chick Lit Cheerleader and our Go-to-Gay to write a joint post. Since they had such a fun time doing it (and made me laugh out loud), I will definitely be getting these two together again! 

I may have mentioned this a while ago, but Jen connected me with Keith when I was looking for a new GTG at CLC. I'm so glad she did, as he is a real joy to have here! I've hung out with Jen in person several times (including earlier this month) and hope to meet Keith in person one of these days. I think if all three of us were in the same room, there would be lots of trouble (the fun kind, of course)! In fact, I may sneak in some of my own names... ;)


Say My Name, Say My Name

Jen Tucker: My husband, Mike, is the hipster when it comes to new music. If it were up to me, my Subaru’s radio station would never leave the 80’s. I know, I’m a time capsule you’d open and find zero surprises inside, like when Geraldo Rivera opened one of Al Capone’s vaults on live television in 1986. Yikes, that was not a good moment for the mustached reporter, right? Did you see that travesty? Sorry, I digress…

Keith Stewart: {Am I the only one who wishes Geraldo had just sealed himself back up in that vault? It’s just me? OK, nevermind.}

JT: My honey has vogued me into this era with a new-to-me band, Wilco.
KS: { I have never heard of this band. I am heading over to Spotify right now.} 
JT: How can a child of the 70’s and teenager of the 80’s like me not love a band who titles their album, Star Wars? One catchy tune from this album, that rings in my head constantly, is called Random Name Generator, which got me thinking—I know, perilous road ahead. I wanted to find out what random names would be doled-out my way, and I brought along CLC’s Keith Stewart for the ride.

Keith—he’s my guy. We first met at Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop where I allegedly attacked him (only with love and devotion) during a meet and greet, then sporadically coerced him (not really, he went willingly) to drink clearance-rack wine in the room I shared with Francine LaSala. He was forever changed, as you can imagine. And here we are sharing column space! Yay us! I hope it’s the first of many opportunities unless Melissa separates us.

KS: There was no alleged-ness to it. Jen had graciously agreed to do a “blurb” for my book, but we had never met in person. When we did actually meet at Erma Bombeck it was a full-on Tucker Attack. This includes hugs, kisses, pats, and a lot of fast talking that makes a Southerner nervous and confused. It also made me sure she was my new best friend.

Not only did we drink clearance-rack wine, but Francine and Jen also taught me to watch out for full glasses of wine at the empty dinner table seats on banquet night. Some may call that stealing, but we call it “not wasting.”

Jen also failed to mention that she and our friend, Nancy Berk, cat-called to me as I walked to the hotel after workshop. They were “cruising the strip” between the workshop classrooms and the hotel in their rental car blasting 80’s music and hanging out the windows and sunroof. Who would not love her after that?!

Enough jibber-jabber! Let’s get to name generating!

All names were discovered at the site, Name Robot. We included the link because Keith and I know, once you see our randomness, you’ll want scroll through this site to create your own. Trust me, there’s plenty to choose from! Here are a few of our favorites:

Dog Name

JT: Princess Waffle Bunnybottom
“I suddenly feel like I should eat kale, and take up Parkour, with any name that includes “waffle” and “bottom.” Good Lord…

KS: Prince Squigg Frapenstein
“I’m not sure how I feel about my dog name. I am totally fine with “Prince,” but I guess I always pictured myself as a more regally named dog than “Squigg Frapenstein.” I see that dog wearing dark rimmed glasses, always carrying a book bag, and incessantly worrying about everything. Wait, I suppose I am a Prince Squigg Frapenstein.

MA: Duchess Stumpy Fluffybutt: I don't even know how to picture what this kind of dog would look like. Maybe a very posh looking poodle?

Game of Thrones Name

JT: Lysa Arryn
“I’m not going to lie; kind of a letdown for me. I wanted to be Khalesei Snow, or Dragon Baby Mama Snow. They’re one in the same, really. You GoT-ers feel me.”

KS: Aeron Greyjoy
“I am not happy with this one bit. I did not want to be a Greyjoy. WHO WANTS TO BE FROM THE IRON ISLANDS?! I will admit that I even lied to the random name generator to get a better name by using my middle name and my husband’s birthday month. However, that produced, “Shagwell the Fool,” so I suppose being a Greyjoy isn’t that bad.

Cocktail Name

JT: Screaming Snot
“Some of you know I married a bartender over 24 years ago. This new moniker will not surprise him. It’s like the NSA saw me freaking out this morning when, for the twenty-trillionth time, I swapped the toilet paper for the empty roll. Is it really that hard, people?”

KS: Flying Nipple
“Finally, a name I can get behind. I think “nipple” is one of the best words ever. I love to say it. Nipplenipplenipple. I think the “flying” part is indicative that it is a strong drink, and any drink associated with me would have to be strong. As TV’s Karen Walker says, “I’d suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick.”

MA: Multi-colored Sunset: Why do they get all the fun names?!?

Food Truck Name

JT: Rolling Cheese Steak Kitchen
“Again, the NSA has seen me on rollerblades after Thanksgiving dinner. Creepers.”

KS: Big Mama’s Jambalaya Kitchen
“That is totally me as a food truck. New Orleans is my favorite city. Cajun/Creole is my favorite food. We call my mother, “Big Mommy.” Maybe the NSA is watching me, too?

MA: Teriyaki WonTon Trattoria: I love Chinese food (and even worked at a Chinese restaurant in my teens), so this is perfect for me!

Zombie Name

JT: Blood-stained Corpse
“I am a rabid fan of The Walking Dead. Not so much Fear The Walking Dead, yet this is not the time nor place to debate. Send all your hate mail to Keith. This is a Duh! name for me. Aren’t all zombies blood-stained corpses? I would’ve preferred names such as Mrs. Daryl Dixon (That’s for you Kelly, Melinda, and Theresa!), Face-plant Off A High-rise, Impaled Parts, or Attacked By Killer Tomatoes. Extremely disappointing.

KS: Rotting Dust
“OK, go ahead and send the hate mail to me, because I don’t get zombies. I don’t watch any zombie shows. I don’t listen to any zombie podcasts (is that a thing?). Give me a nice looking vampire and I will watch him or her all day, but zombies? No. Rotting Dust seems appropriate. I have a feeling that zombies smell really bad, too.

Last, yet not least, you had to know this one was coming…

Star Wars Name

JT: Kento Marek
“Kento, packs her bento box with socks and locks (This is what comes into my mind, friends. My apologies). Not sure if I’m a Jedi Master or one of Jabba the Hutt’s handlers. I’m still fantasizing about the name Kaleesi Snow. It could happen!

KS: Princess Leia Nrgana
“I have no idea what the Nrgana part of the name means, so I choose to ignore it. That makes me Princess Leia. Boom! We have gone full circle with royalty and me. The dog name started with Prince and the Star Wars name ended with Princess. I think it’s clear I was destined to be called His Royal Highness. WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE START CALLING ME THAT?!

Also, Jen, I will call you Kaleesi Snow if you will call me Cersei’s Other Twin Who She Doesn’t Have “Relations” With. Deal?

Be sure to create your own random names and share them with us in the comments. We can’t wait to hear all about your randomness!


Keith Stewart is the author of Bernadette Peters Hates Me – True Tales of a Delusional Man. A native of Appalachia, he splits his time between his hometown of Hyden and nearby Lexington, Kentucky. His blog is www.astrongmanscupoftea.com. You can find him on Twitter at @Shiglyogly and Facebook at @AMSCOT (A Strong Man’s Cup of Tea). He is a regular contributor to HumorOutcasts.com and the GoodMenProject.com. He lives with his husband, Andy, and their two dogs, Duke and Dudley.


Jen Tucker is the author of the funny and true stories, The Day I Wore My Panties Inside Out and The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt. In September 2012, she had her children's book, Little Pumpkin published as an e-book. She also blogs monthly for Survival for Blondes. She currently lives in Indiana with her husband, three kids and two dogs. You can find her at Twitter, Facebook, her blog and on her website. And in case you missed them. check out her previous Chick Lit Cheerleader posts here.