Let's get our sugar high on!
Get Me to The Candy
It’s the most wonderful time of year! We carve pumpkins, decorate our porches with glowing purple spiders, and purchase a plethora of candy helping to secure the 401K accounts of dentists across this great nation of ours. And I’m wondering the following for those who open their doors to trick or treaters: what kind of candy buyer are you? Here’s why I ask…
I started out being the candy buyer who only bought the good stuff. The confectionery treats I craved; I liked. Not only did I want to be the “good candy house” kids remembered year after year, if there were any treats leftover, I wanted the yummy stuff. I always purchased my sugar laden bags early to ensure I had my pick of the bunch. I would hate to run to the store days, or even hours before I flicked my front porch light. That’s too much stress.
Here’s where that plan became a problem.
I opened the bags, just to nibble on a peanut butter cup here and a few Bottle Caps there. For some reason, they began to magically disappear bag after bag way before Halloween! Isn’t that weird? My jeans became tighter. I had to buy more candy for the kiddos. Not good.
Then, I evolved into that bargain bag candy lady. The one with the stuff no one would ever buy in real life with gum, off-brand suckers, and taffy that could outlive the zombie apocalypse. This kept me from eating it by the handful.
There was a slight complication with this new plan.
On the one night of the year you give candy away, I couldn’t give this stuff away. It started riots! Sweet little children became incensed. “Mrs. Tucker,’ one sweet little munchkin asked, ‘what happened to the Hershey bars you had last year?”
I smiled. “I went with a different candy this year! Want a few extra pieces?”
Zombies and mummies ran from my front door as fast as Olympic sprinters take a causal stroll.
So, when in doubt go back to the winning plan, right?
Nope.
I am now that person who buys candy a day or two before Halloween. The one I swore I’d never become. Whatever I find is what I dish out. Whatever is left on the shelves is the candy for me, and I’m totally fine with that. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not buying circus peanuts or gum that violently rips out your molars. I’m talking about the good stuff; it’s still there! You might have to dig around a little bit yet you’ll find it.
What’s your plan, and poison, when it comes to Halloween? I’d love to hear all about it! If any of you have a few extra Bottle Caps or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on November 1st, I wouldn’t be upset if you sent some my way. I’m not saying – but I’m just saying....
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| Happy Halloween! |
Jen Tucker is the author of the funny and true stories, The Day I Wore My Panties Inside Out and The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt. In September 2012, she had her children's book, Little Pumpkin published as an e-book. She also blogs monthly for Survival for Blondes. She currently lives in Indiana with her husband, three kids and two dogs. You can find her at Twitter, Facebook, her blog and on her website. And in case you missed them. check out her previous Chick Lit Cheerleader posts here.
2 comments:
We don't do Halloween at my house anymore. We have too many bad people in our neighborhood now and I don't want to take the chance of opening the door to anyone. But I used to get the good candy because I loved to snack on it too. I still buy a bag of the good stuff for me and my husband each year.
I guess it sounds wrong to admit that I always had two kinds of candy on hand for trick or treat. See, back when I was a kid (yes in the caves), we only went to houses where we knew people and they tried to guess who we were and we had a judge in the neighborhood who read the kids scary stories. When my kids were of trick or treating age, parents were tossing their kids in vehicles and transporting them to "good candy" neighborhoods. Sometimes without costumes. So...my "good candy" was handed out to the children we knew and were dressed up and were having fun and the other candy bags with the no name candy was given to kids from other neighborhoods. Maybe not fair, as it was never the kids' fault, but I was a single mother, and candy is not cheap. Unless you do what I now do. Shut all the lights off, pretend I'm not home during trick or treat, and go buy all the half price candy the next day for my grandkids! Yeah, right. Like my grandkids get the best of it. Ppppffftt.
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