My Minion
“Mom, you should write about bacon,” Gracie mentioned.
“Why should I write about bacon?” I asked. Chilling under my favorite blanket, writing from the comfort of my own bed, we were discussing what I should write about for Chick Lit Central this month. Food is always a popular topic in my home. One growing daughter on the cusp of entering fourth grade and two teenage sons, or nematodes, if you will, constantly devour the groceries. Five minutes after I return from the store, the food has disappeared. Sound familiar?
“What about pancakes? You should write recipes for the people about pancakes.” Gracie is raised in a home where no matter the time of day, there’s nothing like getting your breakfast on. “You should talk about how you sneak things into our pancakes like apple sauce and bananas and we don’t know the healthy stuff that’s in there.”
Her little elfin magic smile appeared. Looking at her, with my nose pointing downward, so I could see her green eyes over the rims of my glasses, I said, “If you know I put bananas and apple sauce into the pancakes, and then I tell everyone about it, it’s not a secret anymore. There will be anarchy over this, I can just feel it.”
She circled back to her original thought. “Bacon is better. Write about bacon—no, wait!”
And just like that, we shift gears again.
Enjoying a big cookie at Starbucks |
“Write about the giant banana you saw driving around in a pickup truck the other day.”
I took off my glasses to see her clearly. I wear prescription lenses. I need them to see things in the distance yet do not require them to focus on things close. And no, I’m not getting bifocals yet, however I do appreciate the suggestion. “Gracie, bananas can’t take driver’s ed.,” I snickered.
Unfortunately, she didn’t think I was as funny as I thought I was. That happens a lot. “Mom, I’m talking about that banana you saw when you were driving around and it was in the back of a truck.”
Avoiding the crushing blow of telling her that sounded like the most ridiculous thing to write about was difficult. Do you all really care about a banana statue? I mean really?! No offense to the local management company who has adopted the tropical fruit as their mascot, or my daughter, but come on. This isn’t a Food Network blog, or Guy’s Big Banana Boat Race or whatever new show he hosts each week on television. That was until Gracie gave me a little stroke of brilliance.
“Mommy, here’s what you do. You know how people take those pictures and put funny sayings with them? Well, you should do that with that banana photo you took the other day that was in the back of the truck. Then you can give away a surprise to whoever makes up the funniest one!”
She’s one smart cookie! And little did she know that Melissa A and I have been planning a giveaway for you all, too.
So caption this photo, my friends! If you do, you’ll be entered to win a $10 Starbucks gift card from me. Bring out your funnies, get spunky! I can’t wait to read these little ditties! And for those who need to know why someone would possibly want to drive around with a massive banana in the back of their truck all day long, you can read about the hullabaloo this little artwork caused in West Lafayette, Indiana right here.
And I’ll even get you started! Below is my Instagram photo and caption. Let’s have fun, keep it somewhat clean, and may the banana force be with you!
You heard the lady! Comment below with your caption for this photo and include your e-mail address in order for your entry to count. (Open to anyone in the world with a Starbucks nearby, as it will be sent online.) Good luck! Enter by August 24th at midnight EST.
Jen Tucker is the author of the funny and true stories, The Day I Wore My Panties Inside Out and The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt. In September 2012, she had her children's book, Little Pumpkin published as an e-book. She also blogs monthly for Survival for Blondes. She currently lives in Indiana with her husband, three kids and two dogs. You can find her at Twitter, Facebook, her blog and on her website. And in case you missed them. check out her previous Chick Lit Cheerleader posts here.
There's always money in the banana stand.
ReplyDeleteArrested Development fans will get this caption.
walkingcorpse11@hotmail.com
I have never been good at captioning pictures. But I really enjoyed this post.
ReplyDeleteTwo captions from me ... simple mind
ReplyDelete1. Gracie is one smart cookie!
2. I hope that truck doesn't peel off!
I don't believe I find this contest apeeling. I feel it may even end in a split decision. #getitapeeling #splitdecision #splitgetit
ReplyDeleteMost of us forgot our emails.
ReplyDeletebonlyn55 at yahoo dotcom
Outta my way.. Guinness book called for the biggest banana ...I've got this!
ReplyDeletediane_bassette2000@yahoo.com
On my way to make the BIGGEST. SUNDAE. EVER.
ReplyDeletecutiepieyara@gmail.com
I'll follow this banana to the nearest ice cream shop, then I'm taking it! Banana splits for everyone!
ReplyDeleteSomeone finally thought of an idea to lure Bigfoot out from hiding. :D
ReplyDeletekidisitor@yahoo.com
From Jen Tucker:
ReplyDeleteOmg they are all so funny!
I hate choosing!
I think I have to go with BIGGEST SUNDAE EVER. But major points to everyone, especially to the funny use of banana puns in #4.
Congrats to Yara!!!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU SOO MUCH!!!!!
ReplyDelete