Chick Lit Cheerleader: Material Girl

Introduction by Melissa Amster

I don't remember how my childhood obsession with Madonna got started. I know one day I was given the "Like a Virgin" cassette and before I knew it, I was listening to it all the time. I think this was around third grade. Maybe it had to do with seeing all her music videos on MTV. She just seemed so cool and had such a great voice. At the time, I didn’t even know how big of an icon she’d become. I had a friend in my class who also liked Madonna. One time we had to do a project and we made up a song about it by changing the lyrics to “Material Girl.” Then there was this one time...at day camp...when I dressed up like Madonna for costume day. No one else seemed to get it though. I had blonde curly hair and a freckle above my lip. I thought that would add a natural appeal to the look I was attempting. In fifth grade art class, we all had to make these people out of construction paper. I made a replica of Madonna, of course. I got teased about it, but I still was obsessed with her. While it was around the time her “True Blue” album came out, I still went with a “Dress You Up” look for the project. Flash forward 20 years...Madonna sounds just as great now as she did when I was a kid. I’m impressed that such a great pop star from my youth is around for my children to hear (when they’re ready) and still seems young no matter how many years have passed. (Excerpt from my personal blog, Merrylandgirl, April 21, 2010.)

I'm not the only Madonna fan though. Our Chick Lit Cheerleader, Jen Tucker, is here to tell us what she'd bid on at Madonna's recent auction.

Going Once, Going Twice...

In my office, resting on my desk next to the framed photo of my boyfriend Seal with his arm lovingly draped around my shoulder, I have a rubber duck whose rear end is signed by Hodor. For those who do not speak Game of Thrones, Hodor is a character played by Kristian Nairn on the HBO series based upon the epic novels by George R. R. Martin. My friend, Sabrina, scored the yellow quacker for me when the actor visited Indianapolis as part of Comic Con, Gen Con or maybe it was Con-Con; I can’t keep track anymore, can you? Regardless, having a little something signed by an actor on a hit show watched by millions of fans around the globe is pretty freaking special to me. Different strokes for different folks, right?

With Sabrina and the Hodor duck

Recently, a gaggle of items owned by the Material Girl went up for bids at Julien’s Auctions in Beverly Hills. Madonna parted ways with costumes, contracts, cancelled checks and chopped credit cards. While leafing through the online catalog of itemized photos, I couldn’t help but wonder if money were no object, and I was sitting amongst the high bidders on November 7-8, 2014 as Madonna’s items paraded into the crowded room one-by-one, what would I be willing to raise my numbered paddle to bid on? Decisions, decisions....

Her shoes? No way. According to the item descriptions, she wears a size seven. I wear size whatever fits over my bunions, and that’s not a size seven.

The candy pink dress and bracelets she wore in the "Material Girl" video? As stunning it was, if I was going to splurge on one of many dresses available, it would be the one she wore the day she married Sean Penn. Layers of tulle, a sash covered with pink ombre flower petals trimmed with golden pearls, accompanied by a black bowler hat with veil attached and the matching shoes that’d never fit on my tootsies. This isn’t the dress I’d save for my husband’s company party or for dancing around the house while alone and singing Crazy For You into my hairbrush. Oh no! This is the little number I’m wearing to the grocery, while waiting for the elliptical machine at the gym, and definitely while eating popcorn and Sno-Caps while watching the new Mockingjay movie. Why? Because I could, right? Let’s not tuck such a beauty away for a special occasion that may never arrive. Every day is an occasion if you spent—cough—$81,250 for a dress. I’d even let my girlfriends borrow it while they drove carpool or took their goldendoodle to the dog park because that’s the kind of friend I am.

Maybe Madonna’s Day Planner from 1988 would be an interesting catch. Some of the highlights betwixt the pages include dinner dates, rehearsals and appearances, birthday reminders and other little things like appearing on The David Letterman Show or a photography session with Herb Ritz. If you would peek into the pages of the dairy I never kept that same year, it would probably include tanning appointments, who I owed money to for fronting me Bahama Mama Tropical Fruit Punch Schnapps, and my next boomerang perm appointment. Almost as interesting, right?

When the fun of daydreaming fades away and I ponder the mementos and memorabilia Madonna parted with raising generous funds for charity, I’m left pondering the importance of things taking up space in my life. Things I can’t take with me when I check out permanently. Things that someone else might be able to use if I donated them rather than me dusting them from time-to-time. It’s good for the soul to clean out the junk drawers once in a while. You might find the key to your barn that went missing quite some time ago too (not that I’d know anything about that). You might wonder if I’m considering parting with my Hodor signed duck butt since Madonna sent her League of Their Own costume off to a better life. It’s a nice thought yet so not going to happen. It’s my woobie. Yet if you want an adorable pink sock monkey, I can totally hook you up!

Jen Tucker is the author of the funny and true stories, The Day I Wore My Panties Inside Out and The Day I Lost My Shaker of Salt. In September 2012, she had her children's book, Little Pumpkin published as an e-book. She also blogs monthly for Survival for Blondes. She currently lives in Indiana with her husband, three kids and two dogs. You can find her at Twitter, Facebook, her blog and on her website. And in case you missed them. check out her previous Chick Lit Cheerleader posts here.