Go-To-Gay: Don’t Charge, Re-Charge!

Introduction by Tracey Meyers

This year, the last weekend in November kicked-off a whirlwind of event after event celebrating occasion after occasion. Hanukkah, Thanksgiving and my birthday.  Yes, a great trifecta of three wonderful occasions that rarely ever occur at the same time all converged this year during one long weekend.

Of course, I spent the weekend celebrating these occasions, but at the same time it was exhausting.  However, the celebration didn't stop there!  Nope, the party is still going.  Though it's all fun and I am making many wonderful memories, quite honestly all of this has been somewhat exhausting and really forced me to focus on taking care of myself by making sure I am resting enough AND making sure that I am celebrating these occasions in a way that makes me happy.

Today, Gary Edwards, Chick Lit Central's co-Go-To-Gay, shares some of his tips for making the holidays "merry and bright" while still focusing on ourselves.


Don’t Charge, Re-Charge!

As Carol Anne from Poltergeist said, “They’re Here”, and we are smack dab in the middle of them! Thanksgiving, Hanukah just passing us, soon Christmas and New Year’s. Every year I hear and see the stress this time of year brings to family and friends. Trying to recreate a tradition or memory, or to our own crazy expectations of creating the perfect holiday party! What if we all gave ourselves the gift this season of not having expectations? Keeping it simple and remembering why we love the people that we have in our lives. Take care of yourself this year during the holidays and take time for you! In a 5 week period it will all be over and we are back to our routine. If you don’t take time to fill your soul and be happy yourself you will have nothing to give and share with others! So go ahead and put the oxygen mask over your head first and then assist others this Holiday season.

Follow some simple rules:

Gifts – Let’s face it, most of us either buy what we want or if it is something we really need it may be a big ticket item like a new washer. Come on, we all know a friend is not going to flip the bill for that. In this day of texting instead of calling, why not give the gift of time? A personal gift card from you to your best friend. A gift of a lunch and spa afternoon with your friend, sometime in January after the holidays when it is nasty out
and you can have the time to chill with them, talk, enjoy the memory.

Rejoice and recharge - Try not to charge anything! You don’t need to impress anyone. If you don’t like the idea of a gift of time. Make something or give a gift that is tangible and that a friend can use to pamper themselves, like a wonderful soap or some yummy food. I think some of my favorite gifts I have received are simple and often homemade. It’s about caring, not the money.

Decking the Halls - I come from the more is more philosophy when it comes to holiday deco. However the older I get, the years that I don’t have a party or family visiting I just give myself permission not to do as much. Put up those things that make you feel good, things that are near and dear to you. The rest of the deco will be there next year, when you are ready to bedazzle the whole house! It’s OK! Remember Martha Stewart has a staff!!!

Holiday Parties – don’t spread yourself too thin and attend every party and function. Take time for yourself; it’s ok to stay home sometimes. Ask yourself am I just a party filler or is this really a close friend and prioritize your parties. It may sound horrible, but if you are invited to 8 parties, how good will you feel if you go to all of them?

That Dysfunctional Family Member- We all have at least one, sometimes a dozen. As my dear friend James will remind me, “That is not your stage; we all have our own journey that we are on.” We can’t control, fix or manage the world. Not everyone is your responsibility. Lead by example and take care of you. By being an observer you may learn from others how you want to live and conduct your life. If they are a person you just can’t be around, that is also ok. I believe we can also create our own family, through a network of friends!

Happy Holidays to Me! - Love yourself! Don’t sabotage all of your hard work and exercise you have been doing with a 5 pound weight gain from emotional eating. Learn when to say when! Also treat yourself to a gift! The year is coming to an end and you have made it. So buy yourself a little something, something!

So let go of pressure, expectations, guilt, panic and worry. Have fun and bring out your inner child! Do what makes you happy! By being a happy person you will make others happy! It’s contagious!

As they say in “AA”- H.A.L.T.

H- Hungry- treat yourself to a healthy snack and drink some water

A –Angry- if you find yourself angry or frustrated, take a break, breathe or do some yoga

L- Lonely- melancholy? See a friend, help a food shelter, do something to get you out of your head.

T- Tired- Get some rest! Don’t get worn down and get a cold! Sleep!

Love yourself and have a Happy, Happy New Year!

Hope to hear from you about some of your favorite memories! If you have any questions or need a suggestion let me know! I am here to help!


Gary Edwards is the marketing and events manager for bestselling author Wade Rouse. Edwards arranges Rouse’s tour schedule, speaking engagements as well as coordinates and facilitates his writing workshops and retreats.  Additionally, Edwards has helped market and promote all five of Rouse’s books. Edwards also has a background in hospitality, and sales as well as design. 

With his vast professional back and a love to listen and help friends he is a perfect storm of love and nurture. Edwards is Martha Stewart meets Dear Abby with a dash of Mrs. Doubtfire.  For more, please friend him on Facebook and Twitter.