Those three words

By Melissa Amster

I talk a lot about the first time my husband and I met, which was 10 years ago as of this past week. I also have talked about our proposal, which was on a cruise ship. What I haven't talked about is how he first said those three words. I was watching "90210" the other night and there was this really sweet moment between two of the characters involving those three words. It made me think about the first time my husband said them to me.

When I first got into a relationship with my husband, I made it clear that I did not want him to say those three words unless he absolutely meant them. Once they're out there, they can't be taken back. I wanted it to mean something to both of us. There was one time when we were goofing around and he said those three words on accident. I immediately was all "don't say it unless you mean it!" He apologized and said they just slipped out and I let him off the hook that time.

The first weekend we spent entirely together was blissful. It was toward the end of February and my favorite a capella group was performing at Northwestern University. We went to the show and met up with the guy who introduced us. That was also the first time I introduced him to one of my friends. (I had been keeping him to myself for a few weeks.) He got to meet my friend Adam, who was performing in the a capella group. I had known Adam since I was a kid, so I was glad he got to meet someone who was already becoming special to me. As an added bonus, my husband also got to meet one of my girlfriends when we went to a bar that evening. The next night, that same girlfriend invited us to meet up with her and some other friends in Chinatown. We spent the whole ride on the "L" being all enamored with each other. The dinner was a lot of fun and then we got to spend some more time gazing into each other's eyes on the way back. This whole time, I wanted to say those three words to him, but after a bad experience a couple of years prior, I decided to wait. I didn't want to worry about him saying them just because I did or not saying them at all and withdrawing from me altogether.

On Sunday afternoon, we went out for lunch and then took a walk around my favorite parks. (A park I used to go to all the time when I was living in a nearby neighborhood.) As we were walking, we were joking around and saying silly lines from movies. There was one from "Dumb and Dumber" that we were trying to imitate, where one of the guys says "I like you a lot" in a funny voice. Then he said "I love you a lot" in that same voice. Again, I told him not to say it if he didn't mean it. However, this time he looked at me earnestly and told me that he meant it. I had been wanting to tell him those three words too and I finally did, as well. For the rest of the day, I still felt like those three words were surreal and wasn't sure how to believe them.

That evening, I went bowling with my league. When that was over, I went to his place. As soon as I got in, he led me to the bathroom and showed me how he had made me a bubble bath, complete with candles and relaxing music. He also emphasized once again that I was the girl he loved.

Ten years, marriage, two major interstate moves and three kids later, we still love each other like we did when we first met. We say those three words all the time without a second thought, but I can still feel the meaning behind them.

At our wedding, March 2004

At Nationals game, August 2011