Winner of "Strings Attached"

To find our winner, we assigned a number to each entry and had random.org pick one number. It chose 6.

Congrats to Marthalynn!

Here is a message from Mandy Baggot:
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my post on Chick Lit Central. If you were the lucky winner WELL DONE! If not, I hope I've engaged your interest enough to take a look at Strings Attached! As a self-published author I really appreciate support from the readers - it's your opinions on books that count and websites like Chick Lit Central are absolutely vital to connect us indie authors with you! And as a UK girl I'm extra honoured to be hosted 'over the pond'! Thank you for having me! Can I come back?

Reminder: If you have won a book, you have about 48 hours to claim it by sending your contact information. (You will be e-mailed if you have won, as well.) After that time, a new winner will be picked.

Thanks to everyone for participating. Such an interesting mix of funny songs!
Thanks to Mandy for singing us a silly tune, so to speak and for sharing her book with our winner!

Don't miss out on our latest giveaways:

"How to Get a Literary Agent in Two Murders or Less" by Ellie Burmeister
Ends 11/6

"Rita Hayworth's Shoes" by Francine LaSala
Ends 11/1 at midnight EST


"Goddess of Vengeance" by Jackie Collins
US/Canada for print
US for audio
Ends 11/1 at midnight EST


"One Flight Up" by Susan Fales-Hill
US only
Ends tonight at midnight EST

Ellie Burmeister takes us to the Iron Maiden (Excellent!!!) and has some books to give away

**Giveaway is now closed**

Our last day of humor month just happens to coincide with Halloween. So we invited Ellie Burmeister, author of a new chick lit mystery, "How to Get a Literary Agent in Two Murders or Less" (reviewed here) to share a Halloween story with us. We promise it won't give you nightmares....

As a special Halloween TREAT, her novel is available for 99 cents on Kindle and Nook For some fun Halloween (or anytime) reading and a nice preview of her book, you can check out a 30-page excerpt here. Better yet...she has ONE copy (either e-book or paperback) to give to a lucky reader anywhere in the world!

For more information about Ellie, visit her on Facebook.

I was a Teenage Renaissance Jungle Slave Girl

What was my biggest Halloween adventure? It would have to be the college Halloween carnival when my twin sister Anya lost all her money. We were 19 at the time, and I don’t mean lost in a “oh-my-god, where’s-my-wallet” sort of way, though that’s what I thought when I saw her sitting in the sawdust and crying. She’s lost it all in a “don’t leave-your-varsity-basketball-champ-sister-near-the-carnival-games-while-you-go-on-the-Ferris-wheel” sort of way.
“I wanted to surprise you by winning a stuffed tiger,” she said. Apparently, she didn’t realize the games were rigged.

“It’s okay,” I picked up the purse I'd asked her to watch. “I’ve got $40. That should be just enough to buy some lunch and then get us into the haunted house when it opens.”
“You had $40,” she said and wailed louder. I felt myself bristle. She’d gambled away my money too? For heaven sakes, for $40 she could buy a stuffed animal! But she was already punishing herself enough, so I decided to let it slide.

At first.

Until I discovered that a Halloween carnival is no fun when you have no money. My feet hurt and stomach growled but all we could afford to do was wander around and watch everyone else having fun. I quickly turned snarky. “Oh, look. Funnel cakes. Too bad we have no money… Look, apples-on-a-stick, should I get mine with toffee or chocolate or both? Or neither, since we have no money… Look, we’re outside the haunted house. It opens in about an hour. What a shame we can’t go inside because my twin sister lost all our money!”

“Zip it, hag. I said I was sorry!”

A young man a black tee-shirt cleared his throat behind us. “Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but overhear. Did you say you were twins? I need a pair of girls, but I can only pay you $20 each. But it’s for a good cause. Would you mind slipping into a pair of bikinis?”

Our jaws dropped. Anya grabbed my arm. “Come on, Ellie. Get away from this pervert.”
“No, you don’t understand. I’m the director for the haunted house. We had a pair of identical twins cancel at the last minute, and I desperately to find a pair of lookalikes for the iron maiden.”

I should explain now that Anya and I may be twins, but we don’t look alike. I’m 5’3” with sharp features. She’s 5’10” with a button nose. But we’re roughly the same shape and color and that was enough for him. “Great,” he said when we agreed. We went to the wardrobe trailer where we changed into matching leopard print bikinis. Then we went to hair and makeup, where a girl with pink hair and piercings painted my face with 50's style cat-eye makeup and blood red lipstick.

At the risk of sounding immodest, I must say it looked pretty hot. “My turn,” Anya said, hopping into the chair and awaiting her own transformation.

“Oh, no." The makeup girl said as she reached for a bucket of red slime with a paintbrush sticking out of it. "You stand on that piece of plastic over there.”

Anya wrinkled her button nose in alarm. “What is that?”

“Don’t worry, it’s just corn syrup and red food color. It will all come off after a couple of showers.”

She flung her arm at me. “Why does she get to be the sultry sex kitten while I’m the one drenched in blood?”

“Because you’re the one who lost our money,” I deadpanned.

The director ordered me to the stage so I could rehearse my role before curtain time. He led me into a stageroom made up to look like a medieval torture chamber hewn out of big stone blocks, with flickering electric torchs and chains built into the wall. A bunch of college girls in animal print bikinis lounged around head presses and thumbscrews and other assorted instruments of torture. Inquisitors and jungle girls...talk about mixing your metaphors.

“You start out with your wrists in the chains. Drake will come over and load you into the Iron Maiden.” He opened a huge coffin to reveal long rows of foam spikes. “As soon as the door is closed, you slip through the curtain in back and your sister will take your place. Create the illusion that you were impaled by the spikes.”

Except I was the Gabrielle to her Xena, so I didn’t think it would be much of an illusion.
Since I was starving at this point I helped myself to a soda and cookie from a strategically hidden snack area. A hunchback in tattered rags quickly joined me. “Hi I'm Drake. I haven’t seen you around. Are you part of the drama club?

I smiled, because even with the hump on his back, this Quasimodo was HoT. “No, but my sister and I are actresses. We’ve been a movie.”

“No kidding?”

Well… Technically we were extras, and not real actresses. And we were nine. And we only had one scene. And the scene was later cut from the movie. And the movie was never released domestically. But hey, at that moment, it counted.

The director crossed by with Anya, whose eyes lit up for the fraction of a moment between when she saw Franken-fine, and when she remembered that she was currently spattered from head to toe in red goo.

“Bitch!” she hissed at me under her breath as the director loaded her into the darkened box where she was to spend the next four hours, all by herself.

***

It turned out that the director really did know his stuff. The families screamed in real terror whenever Drake opened the lid and they saw that I’d not only been impaled by the iron maiden, but also squashed flat like a bug, adding seven inches to my height.

At the end of the night, Anya tried to give me her twenty.

“Keep it,” I said. “This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Just remind me not to spend our twenty-first birthday in Vegas. We might not survive.”

Thanks to Ellie for sharing her humorous Halloween tale with us and for sharing her book with our readers!

How to win "How to Get a Literary Agent in Two Murders or Less":
Please comment below with your e-mail address.

(Please note: Entries without an e-mail address will NOT be counted. You can use AT and DOT to avoid spam. Or provide a link to your facebook page or blog if you can receive messages there.)

Bonus entries (can be listed all in one post):
1. Please share something funny related to Halloween. (Stories, memories, jokes, costume ideas, etc.)
2. Follow this blog and post a comment saying you are a follower (if you already follow, that's fine too).
3. Post this contest on Facebook or Twitter or in your blog, and leave a comment saying where you've posted it.
4. Join Chick Lit Central on Facebook. Edit settings if you don't want to receive a lot of messages at your e-mail account. Please read our posting guidelines, as well. (If you're already a member, let us know that too.)
5. Add a friend to our Facebook group. (Tell us who you added.) Be sure to remind them to edit their settings.

Giveaway ends November 6th at midnight EST.

What's in the mail today?

Melissa A:

Got this from Kensington:



Gail will be reviewing it, as I have sent it to her.

Got this from Emily LaBeaume at Wunderkind PR:

e-book:

Got this from Margo Candela for review and for having her at CLC recently.




Got this when it was available for free earlier this week:



It's now $2.99 for Kindle.


Gail:

Got this from Erik Atwell:



e-book:

Got this from The Pantheon Collective



Becky:

Got this from Little, Brown:




Got this from Pan Books:



Combine the two and you have...."Breakfast at Tiffany's!" :)

e-book:

Got this from Joanne Clancy:



It's currently $2.99 for Kindle.

Cindy:

Got this from Kensington:



Got this from Alignment Publishing:



Got this from Lindsay Frucci:




Amy:

Won this from Erin Reads:



Got this from Penguin Group:

Blogs of the week

Our recent feature is "Blogs of the Week." Each week, we will feature a reader blog (which has to be sent to us) and an author blog (which can either be sent to us, or we'll pick one at random). Please check out the blogs we are sharing. We're sure the bloggers would love some friendly comments on their posts or a follow.

To have your blog featured for a future shout out, please e-mail us. The blogs can be anything: personal, book themed or something else you're interested in that you write about (movies, fashion, pets, career, etc.)

Reader:

Henshaw Redux

Katie, a.k.a. Lady KT writes letters to authors in the style of Beverly Cleary's novel, "Dear Mr. Henshaw." She tells them why their work is important to her. A lot of chick lit authors have been included in the mix of letters.

You can also find her on Twitter.

Author:

Meredith Jaeger

By day Meredith helps international students get acquainted with San Francisco. But secretly she’s an aspiring author of women's fiction, hard at work on her second novel. Her blog explores the (difficult) journey towards traditional publication, with tips and encouragement for fellow writers. She loves chick lit, especially anything by Marian Keyes, Jennifer Weiner and Emily Giffin. She lives in Oakland, California with her fiancé and their very chubby cat, Sylvester.

She can also be found on Twitter and Facebook.

Book Review: Better Off Without Him

By Becky Gulc

Successful historical romance writer. Mother of three teenage daughters. Happily married? Well, this 45 year-old woman thinks so until her husband Brian suddenly announces he’s leaving her one spring day, not next week, not tomorrow, right now, and for a younger French woman called Dominique. Welcome to Mona’s world.

Mona is shocked beyond belief! How can a marriage suddenly end when everything was just fine? When they were still having regular sex? Yes, still having regular sex, after twenty years. Distraught Mona has little time to really absorb what’s happening as she’s distracted, at least briefly, by plumbing problems, cocktails served up by her faithful friend Patricia which almost anaesthetises Mona until the unexpected arrival of Aunt Lily, who is very vocal and here to stay. Then toss in Ben the plumber, who has quite frankly been a bit of a distraction for Mona and the inspiration for many of the seduction scenes in her novels for quite some time now.

A range of characters surround Mona as we join her story from the day Brian announces he’s leaving in April up until the following January around the time of the divorce hearing. A lot of the novel is set on the Jersey Shore where Mona and her daughters spend the summer, as they now have done for many years. I really felt transported there and felt like I was on a little holiday myself. It’s whilst on holiday that Mona’s daughters suggest it’s time for her to begin dating again or at least 'practice' dating to begin with. What follows is a series of comical dates and scenarios; some with people Mona has been friends with or known of for years, others with complete strangers. With Mona starting to spend a lot of time with Doug (one of those ugly-but-sexy people), can they remain just friends with benefits or will they fall for each other? Will newcomer Mitch, with whom Mona seems to have so much in common, make her want to stop practising and get on with the real thing? Will Brian change his mind? And will Mona ever finish her latest novel?

I really enjoyed this novel and was hooked and made the connection needed with Mona within the first chapter. Mona is a strong, witty woman and as the story was told through her viewpoint, it made for a very comical read, there are some great one-liners. I loved the supporting characters too, they were all very well developed and even though we didn’t delve into their viewpoints I felt like I knew them all so well. Aunt Lily is a great character and reminded me of my Grandma, never afraid to say what she thinks but lovable with it!

I would maybe have liked to have seen greater interaction with the daughters as the novel progressed, to re-capture some of the seriousness of parents divorcing when children are in their teens, and maybe a bit more reflection on the marriage from Mona as it was mainly presented in a light-hearted way but that’s just me grasping at straws for constructive criticism. The structure of the book works really well and although in terms of plot the story was quite simple, the pace was relaxed but never dull and as a reader you are kept guessing as to how it will all end, with Mona adamant that her latest heroine will not be focusing on finding a man, but being happy post break-up on her own, will fiction become fact?

"Better Off Without Him" was the first self-published novel I read and I may have felt a little sceptical that it would be of the same standard as those going through publishing houses, but, I was wrong, and I’m so glad I was! Yes the cover is nothing to write home about, and you may just ignore it if it was sitting on a shelf or you read the blurb on the back which is merely an extract, but don’t, it’s definitely a good read and definitely worth picking up (or downloading to your e-reader). This novel is funny and I enjoyed spending the time in Mona’s world. I would definitely recommend it.

You might also like:

In Francine LaSala's funny shoes, plus a book giveaway

**Giveaway is now closed**

You probably have heard of "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption," but if we changed the title to "Rita Hayworth and the SHOEshank Redemption," it might sell as chick lit. However, Francine LaSala came up with a simpler, and perhaps better title, "Rita Hayworth's Shoes," (reviewed here) and applied it to her debut novel. It's a story about a pair of shoes that transforms the life of a woman who has hit rock bottom. And that's not all! Francine has two more stories in the works and has written four feature-length screenplays to boot! (Or is it shoe in this case?) And she's raising two daughters at the same time (her husband helps with that part). What can't Francine do?!? She's here to share what makes her laugh and is giving away FIVE signed copies of "Rita Hayworth's Shoes" to some lucky readers anywhere in the world!

If you want some more laughs, visit the Facebook pages for Francine and "Rita Hayworth's Shoes!"

Funniest chick lit novel?
Without hesitation, the "godmother" of them all: "Bridget Jones's Diary" by Helen Fielding. That book, original in format and voice, opened a whole new world for writers to be able to be more honest when developing heroines. They could be normal(ish) and loser-ish and drink too much wine and sing into the mirror--they didn't have to be anything but everyday chicks struggling with everyday issues, and there's a fresh, honest charm about that. Bridget is delicious and hilarious because of her imperfections. We want to slap her when she goes for the wrong guy because we've been there and we know, because we've shared the experience, that no good will come from it. We want to hug and comfort her when she fails. We want to celebrate with her when she works it all out. And we're peeing ourselves laughing the whole ridiculous journey.

Funniest book character (chick lit or any kind)?
Not chick lit but I think the character of "The Emperor" in Christopher Moore's books really stands out for me. He's a crazy homeless guy who "protects" the city of San Francisco from supernatural wackiness with his "men" (two dogs clad in trash-can-lid-armor) and a deep, abiding sincerity, who has the respect of the entire city. (I'm a huge fan of quirky flawed characters, clearly.)

Favorite comedy film?
"Bringing Up Baby" (love that Hepburn-Grant magic!). In fact, I would go so far as to say I love screwball comedies above all, period. "The Philadelphia Story," "It Happened One Night," "His Gal Friday," and while not quite screwball, all the "Thin Man" movies from the 1940s...they're all just divine! They all have a kind of go-with-it flow that just pulls you right through the story, and while you know what you're experiencing is ridiculous, there's just such a magic about it that makes it all plausible and wonderful.

Funniest TV show?
"Arrested Development." I'm ashamed to admit I never watched this show while it was on the air. In fact, I never even saw an episode until about six or so months ago. I DVR it in reruns now and every now and then I come across one I haven't seen. What a delight that show is! It cracks me up every time. And Richie Cunningham and Fonzie and Chachi all being involved like that. Pure genius!

Funniest song?
That I can think of right now, Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)" for sure. Hilarious! Actually, I think all her songs are pretty hilarious. She's gorgeous and talented and could take herself and her success so seriously and she doesn't. She's a lunatic. Just quirky and playful and funny as hell.

Funniest quirk you had as a child?
I didn't know the answer to this question until I got an email from my daughter's first-grade teacher just today about a quirk she and I share. When I was young, I was a crazy liar. Just a wicked crazy liar. I would tell my classmates insane things, and stand by my tales even when I got in trouble with my teachers for being such a wicked crazy liar. But what I know about myself now, and perhaps am seeing in my daughter, is that possibly this is just how writers are born. So maybe we didn't go to Paris this weekend, and maybe I have never been a secret princess in need of rescue...either now or in the 1970s. But isn't what makes the world more interesting the possibility of what if?

Funniest misunderstanding?
Anything having to do with song lyrics. As a writer, it's shameful how horrible I am with song lyrics sometimes. I really just "hear" anything - and I should respect the words more. One of the weirdest ones by far is from about 20 years ago and still sticks with me. In "How Will I Know" Whitney Houston sings "Falling in love is so bittersweet." I heard (and repeated, often): "Four-legged love is all that I need." A real head-scratcher, yes, yet there are thousands more where that came from. Friends can't always give me specific examples of me doing this, but in asking over the past couple of days if they remember any, they all get the same smug, knowing smile--the one that says: "Oh yes, that's what you do."

Strangest thing you find funny?
Wooden Face Spectacle Holder. It simply cannot be explained; please see the photo.

Favorite inside joke you have with anyone you know?
I think I probably have inside jokes with everyone I know--and I love to plant them in my books to see if my friends actually read them. Here's one from recent days that was absolutely hysterical: "How is this a mouse?" This was asked by a friend actually looking at a picture of a mouse, confused as it didn't look like the first thing that popped into his mind at the mention of the word "mouse"--a computer mouse! Hilarious, but definitely only in context.

Favorite comedian?
Louis C.K.. I don't think I could get through raising my two young daughters without him.

Special thanks to Francine for sharing her humor with us (gotta love that spectacle holder) and sharing her books with some lucky readers!

How to win "Rita Hayworth's Shoes":
Please comment below with your e-mail address.

(Please note: Entries without an e-mail address will NOT be counted. You can use AT and DOT to avoid spam. Or provide a link to your facebook page or blog if you can receive messages there.)

Bonus entries (can be listed all in one post):
1. Please tell us:What is the funniest quirk you had as a kid?
2. Follow this blog and post a comment saying you are a follower (if you already follow, that's fine too).
3. Post this contest on Facebook or Twitter or in your blog, and leave a comment saying where you've posted it.
4. Join Chick Lit Central on Facebook. Edit settings if you don't want to receive a lot of messages at your e-mail account. Please read our posting guidelines, as well. (If you're already a member, let us know that too.)
5. Add a friend to our Facebook group. (Tell us who you added.) Be sure to remind them to edit their settings.

Giveaway ends November 1st at midnight EST. (So be sure to enter while you're still on a Halloween candy buzz!)

What cracks up Cindy and amuses Amy?

The authors aren't the only ones answering questions about what they find funny. All of us at CLC are doing it too! For our last humor post from the Chick Lit Central ladies, we decided to combine the forces of Cindy (review associate) and Amy (promotional associate)!

Cindy:

Funniest chick lit novel?
Laurie Notaro's Essays


Funniest book character (chick lit or any kind)?
Laurie Notaro (as herself!)

Favorite comedy film?
“Christmas Vacation”


Funniest quirk as a kid?
Regularly rearranging furniture; also referred to as making parents and siblings extremely angry.

Favorite comedian?
Joan Rivers ... May the Queen reign forever!

Amy:

Funniest chick lit novel?
"Such a Pretty Fat" by Jen Lancaster

Funniest book character (chick lit or any kind)?
Jen Lancaster (as herself!)

Favorite comedy film?
"The Birdcage"

Funniest TV show?
"Modern Family"

Funniest song?
"The Hanukkah Song" by Adam Sandler

Funniest thing you heard a kid say?
See this video.

Favorite comedian?
Chris Farley and Will Farrell


Favorite humorous quote (from a movie)?
So many quotes were hysterical from "Horrible Bosses." Hard to choose just one!

Funniest TV or movie character?
Jane Lynch - Sue Sylvester from "Glee" (pictured here)

Strangest thing you find funny?
JK Wedding Entrance Dance

Jackie Collins serves up a steamy dish of humor, plus a book giveaway

**Giveaway is now closed**

Today we have the utmost pleasure of having THE Jackie Collins, one of the world's top-selling authors. Jackie is amongst the world’s top-selling novelists, with over 400 million copies of her books sold in more than 40 countries, and with twenty-eight New York Times bestsellers. She was given the name "raunchy moralist" by the late director Louis Malle and “Hollywood’s own Marcel Proust” by Vanity Fair magazine. As a teenager, Jackie started writing steamy stories that her classmates actually paid to read. As an adult, she went on to write the international sensation, "Hollywood Wives" which became a #1 New York Times bestseller and was made into one of ABC’s highest-rated miniseries starring Anthony Hopkins and Candice Bergen. Her latest novel is "Goddess of Vengeance," a novel full of power, passion, revenge, and raging family dynamics.

We have some copies of "Goddess of Vengeance" to give away...both in print and audio! Ann-Marie Nieves at Get Red PR has one print copy to share with a lucky reader in the US or Canada. And Esther Bochner at Macmillan Audio has five audio copies to give away to readers (or listeners in this case) in the US.

You can find Jackie at her website, Facebook and Twitter.

Funniest chick lit novel?
"Bridget Jones's Diary"

Funniest book character (chick lit or any kind)?
Bridget Jones!!

Funniest TV show?
"2 Broke Girls" on CBS. Hilarious!

Funniest thing that happened to you recently?
I appeared on the Joy Behar show a few weeks ago and every moment elicited a big laugh!

Funniest misunderstanding?
Getting into the wrong limo outside a film premiere. It belonged to Greg Kinnear. Majorly embarrassing!

Strangest thing you find funny?
Louis CK on his crazily original sitcom "Louis."

Favorite inside joke you have with anyone you know?
"Do you know who I am?" Anyone who utters that sentence is an a$$hole!

Favorite humorous quote? (from a movie)
"Snap out of it!" From MOONSTRUCK.

Funniest TV or movie character?
The entire cast of "Modern Family."

Favorite joke?
I never remember jokes, and I hate sexist ones.

Thanks to Jackie for making us laugh, Ann-Marie for sharing a print copy of the book and Esther for sharing an audio copy of the book.

How to win "Goddess of Vengeance":
Please comment below with your e-mail address.
(Please note: Entries without an e-mail address will NOT be counted. You can use AT and DOT to avoid spam. Or provide a link to your facebook page or blog if you can receive messages there.) Also, please indicate if you are in the US or Canada.

Bonus entries (can be listed all in one post):
1. Please tell us: What is the funniest inside joke you have (with anyone you know)?
2. Follow this blog and post a comment saying you are a follower (if you already follow, that's fine too).
3. Post this contest on Facebook or Twitter or in your blog, and leave a comment saying where you've posted it.
4. Join Chick Lit Central on Facebook. Edit settings if you don't want to receive a lot of messages at your e-mail account. Please read our posting guidelines, as well. (If you're already a member, let us know that too.)
5. Add a friend to our Facebook group. (Tell us who you added.) Be sure to remind them to edit their settings.

Print version is US/Canada only
Audio version is US only
Giveaway ends November 1st at midnight EST.

Book Review: Rita Hayworth's Shoes

By Melissa Amster

All hands are on "Deck" in Francine LaSala's debut novel, "Rita Hayworth's Shoes," which was inspired by screwball comedies from the 1940's.

Amy Miller's wedding day is nothing like she dreamed it would be, as it is being held at a dive deli instead of a fancy church. To add insult to injury, her fiancé doesn't even show up! Then she ends up killing her boss, to make matters worse. However, things turn around for Amy when she buys a pair of beautiful, but expensive shoes that once belonged to Rita Hayworth. She meets Decklin "Deck" Thomas and gets swept up in a romance she never thought she deserved. And just when things start going right, Deck's former wife throws a wrench in everyone's plans. Suddenly, nothing is what it seems.

I had a fun time reading "Rita Hayworth's Shoes" and didn't want to put it down, especially when I got into the thick of the story. It is full of quirky humor that stays fresh throughout. Amy is a sympathetic main character and she has a great supporting "cast" along with her, from her best friend Jane and Jane's daughter Zoe to the mafia inspired "Building Boys." And we can't forget about Deck. He's a fantastic romantic interest for Amy and I think he'll make readers swoon, even though he's different than most romantic interests. It goes to show that we can't judge a book by its cover. The dialogue was realistic and the story flowed nicely. I liked Ms. LaSala's use of description, as well. There's a mystery running throughout the story that keeps readers guessing the entire time, which made it all the more fun to read. It's not a heavy mystery, but it's like playing "Clue." You really have to be paying attention to put it all together. Then she tosses some pleasant surprises into the mix that are guaranteed to leave readers cheering.

There were some things that got in the way of "Rita Hayworth's Shoes" reaching absolute perfection. The first was a lot of spelling errors, as well as some grammatical errors. There were times I wanted to take a red pen to it, but I held back. Then there was the issue of Zoe. She's supposed to be six years old. The back cover says she's "sagacious." However, I had to keep checking the summary to see if she really was six or if I was just imagining things. She sounded like she was thirteen, if not older. There were some interesting comments on the irony of Zoe sounding way older than her age, which I found amusing. In any case, if she wanted to make Zoe sound cute and precocious, while also being intelligent, she should have made her sound like a little kid and tossed in surprise profound statements here and there. I was a little freaked out at the idea that Zoe knew more about sex and relationships than most adults. While there were some great characters, there were also a lot of extra characters that reached the realm of too many, where it was sometimes hard to keep track of who was who. It may have been helpful to put Amy's voice in the first person, but I could tell that Ms. LaSala also wanted to show some other perspectives throughout. Things were a little far-fetched at times, but that's the key to screwball comedy, right? There were also things that were left unanswered by the time I reached the last page. Finally, while the chapter names were cute and funny, I wish there had been more mystery to them instead of practically giving away what was going to happen in each chapter.

Overall, this was a quick and fun read and I encourage you to check it out. It's the icing on the cake of our humor month at Chick Lit Central, so to speak. It had a Sophie Kinsella feel to it, combined with some satirical humor. I could see it being made into a movie that would be a modern twist on a story with a feel of the classics.

Francine LaSala will be at CLC on Thursday and she has five copies of "Rita Hayworth's Shoes" to give to some lucky readers anywhere in the world. So stop on by!

Winners of "Aftertaste"

To find our winners, we assigned a number to each entry and had random.org pick two numbers. It chose 25 and 55.

Congrats to Nina and mep!

Here's a message from Meredith Mileti:
A big “thank you” to the lovely women at Chick Lit Central for helping give "Aftertaste: A Novel in Five Courses" a helpful nudge into the world and thanks to all who entered the giveaway for stopping by to leave a comment. (I loved reading your answers to your favorite TV characters. How could I have forgotten about Modern Family’s Cameron? I love him!)

It is such an exciting time to be a writer—nerve wracking and scary, to be sure, but exciting, too. Thanks to wonderful sites like Chick Lit Central and their cadre of dedicated book bloggers, writers—particularly us “newbies”—have such a wonderful forum in which to engage with our readers.

Congratulations to the winners of "Aftertaste." Buon Appetito! I do hope you enjoy my debut novel and that it whets your appetite for more. In addition to signing your copy of "Aftertaste," I’d also love to personalize it, if you would like, so please let me know how you would like me to address it and we will get your copy in the mail asap.

Cheers,
Meredith

Reminder: If you have won a book, you have about 48 hours to claim it by sending your contact information. (You will be e-mailed if you have won, as well.) After that time, a new winner will be picked.

Thanks to everyone for participating. Thanks to Meredith for all her hilarious answers to our questions and for sharing her book with our winners.

Don't miss out on these giveaways:

"One Flight Up" by Susan Fales-Hill
US only
Ends 10/31 at midnight EST

"Strings Attached" by Mandy Baggot
Ends 10/30 at midnight EST

Susan Fales-Hill takes laughter to a whole new flight and has some books to give away

**Giveaway is now closed**

Today we welcome Susan Fales-Hill, who has had an amazing career, including her debut recent novel "One Flight Up." Susan was born in Rome and grew up in New York City. She graduated from the French high school of New York, "Lycee Francais de New York," and graduated with honors from Harvard College with two degrees, Literature and History, in 1985. In 2003, Susan published "Always Wear Joy" (HarperCollins), a memoir about her late mother Josephine Premise, who was an actress, singer and dancer. This memoir won many awards, including the Zora Neale Hurston/Richard Wright Legacy Award for Nonfiction, and a finalist for the NAACP Image Award. Susan lives in New York with her husband and their daughter.

Courtesy of Simon & Schuster, we have three copies of "One Flight Up" to some lucky readers in the US.

You can find Susan at her website, on Simon & Schuster, Facebook and Twitter.

Funniest chick lit novel?

"Pride and Prejudice"

Funniest book character (chick lit or any kind)?

Mr. Micawber from "David Copperfield."

Favorite comedy film?

"The First Wives' Club" and "The Women"

Funniest quirk you had as a child?

I loved Bette Davis movies. It sort of explains everything.

Funniest thing that happened to you recently?

The barrage of emails from the AARP and The Bra Genie.

Funniest misunderstanding?

When talking to a famous Cuban ballet dancer and his wife about performances in their native land, I asked "How were the sets?" To my bafflement, they recoiled, eyebrows arched, clearly offended. They thought I was asking "How was the sex?"

Strangest thing you find funny?

The ludicrous slogans of White Supremacist groups, like "Protect and preserve the beauty of white anglo saxon womanhood" worn on a T-Shirt. I'm thinking of ordering one.

Favorite inside joke you have with anyone you know?

In my co-dependent days, I felt guilty for the misery of every unfortunate person in the world. After breaking up with a man who cared deeply for me, I couldn't shake the feeling I had personally ruined his life. One night, as I droned on about how I'd devastated him, my friend said, "Why stop there? You're forgetting the hole in the Ozone layer. That's your fault too." Whenever I slip back into that guilt, all she has to say is "ozone layer."

Favorite comedian?

Lucille Ball

Favorite humorous quote?

"If you want to be really distinguished, you have to be dead. There's nothing as dignified as a mummy." Elizabeth Bennett to Caroline Bingley in the BRILLIANT 1939 version of "Pride and Prejudice" starring Lawrence Olivier and the divine Greer Garson.

Thanks to Susan for sharing her favorite funny things with us and to Simon and Schuster for sharing her book with our readers.

How to win "One Flight Up":

Please comment below with your e-mail address.
(Please note: Entries without an e-mail address will NOT be counted. You can use AT and DOT to avoid spam. Or provide a link to your facebook page or blog if you can receive messages there.)

Bonus entries (can be listed all in one post):
1. Please tell us: What is the strangest thing you find funny?
2. Follow this blog and post a comment saying you are a follower (if you already follow, that's fine too).
3. Post this contest on Facebook or Twitter or in your blog, and leave a comment saying where you've posted it.
4. Join Chick Lit Central on Facebook. Edit settings if you don't want to receive a lot of messages at your e-mail account. Please read our posting guidelines, as well. (If you're already a member, let us know that too.)
5. Add a friend to our Facebook group. (Tell us who you added.) Be sure to remind them to edit their settings.

US only. Giveaway ends October 31st at midnight EST.

Book Review: The Language of Flowers

By Cindy Roesel
THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS is Vanessa Diffenbaugh’s debut novel. It opens with 18-year old, Victoria Jones striking out on her own after a lifetime of living in the foster home system. The angry and distrustful former ward of the state had only one opportunity at being adopted which failed when she was ten. For most of her eighteen years, she has bounced around group homes. Victoria has been hurt to the breaking point and believes she’s flawed beyond anyone’s love.

At 18, it’s an interesting juxtaposition that Victoria finds herself homeless, sleeping in parks and working odd jobs. It’s at this point she taps into memories of her childhood when she briefly lived with her former-foster mother, Elizabeth and learned about the Victorian-era language of flowers, which now helps her get a job at a flower shop.

“Now, as an adult, my hopes for the future were simple: I wanted to be alone, and to be surrounded by flowers. It seemed, finally, that I might get exactly what I wanted”.

THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS is about coming to terms with the past and moving toward the future – even when a chance discovery shakes her fragile sense of identity and threatens to destroy the little she’s accomplished. Vanessa Diffenbaugh, herself a foster mother, clearly knows both the human heart and plants and she keeps us cheering for Victoria who eventually comes to understand that “the unattached, the unwanted, the unloved, could grow to give love as lushly as anyone else.”

THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS is written with a touch of magical realism. It’s like reading a whimsical fairytale bouquet of relationships between mothers, daughters, friends and lovers. I simply could not put it down. In the language of flowers, camellia means my destiny in is your hands. Vanessa Diffenbaugh has created the Camellia Network in order to create a nationwide movement to support youth making the transition from foster care to independence. You can get more information at www.camellianetwork.org or can contact Vanessa at her Facebook page. I simply can’t wait for her next novel.

Winners of "Watching Willow Watts"

To find our winners, we assigned a number to each entry and had random.org pick two numbers. It chose 1 and 3.

Congrats to Len Lambert and Charlotte!

Update: We just received a message from Len that she already owns the book and would like us to pick someone else in her place. We consulted random.org again and it chose 16.

Congrats to Stephanie (@llamamum)!

Here's a message from Talli Roland:
A big thank you to Chick Lit Central for being so wonderfully supportive of chick lit authors – and chick lit! To the winners of "Watching Willow Watts," thank you so much for showing interest in my novel, and for sharing your funniest misunderstanding. I’m glad I’m not the only one to have suffered from poor communication! I do hope you enjoy Willow; please feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you thought. Hearing from readers really makes my day! Thanks again, and cheers to chick lit.

Reminder: If you have won a book, you have about 48 hours to claim it by sending your contact information. (You will be e-mailed if you have won, as well.) After that time, a new winner will be picked.

Thanks to everyone for participating and to Talli for making us laugh and sharing her book with our readers. Her books are still 99 cents for Kindle, in case you want in on all the fun!

Don't miss out on these giveaways:

"Strings Attached" by Mandy Baggot
Ends 10/30 at midnight EST


"Aftertaste" by Meredith Mileti
US only
Ends 10/24 at midnight EST

Winners of "Food of Love"

To find our winners, we assigned a number to each entry and had random.org pick three numbers. It chose 8, 31 and 38.

Congrats to Kim W, Bonnie (smallb) and Jeryl (meandmom)!

Here's a message from Anne R. Allen:
Congratulations to the winners! And thanks to everybody who commented.

It has been such fun to visit Chick Lit Central as a guest. I’ve been a follower for a long time and when I first started reading, I could only fantasize about being here with a book to promote. And now, not only is *Food of Love* available again, but I’ve now got *The Gatsby Game* for sale and *Ghostwriters in the Sky* coming out next week. (With two more to follow in November.) Paper versions should start coming out soon and are available for pre-order from Popcorn Press.

When you’re not a household name, it’s difficult to get people to plunk down hard-earned money for a new book, which is why Chick Lit Central’s give-aways are such a fabulous service for both readers and writers. If you’re one of the winners, hopefully you’ll come back for one of my other titles.

Or even if you don’t, maybe you’ll stop by my blog, which I share with NYT bestseller Ruth Harris, and have a laugh.

Thanks to all of you and to the Melissas and all the wonderful ladies of Chick Lit Central!

Reminder: If you have won a book, you have about 48 hours to claim it by sending your contact information. (You will be e-mailed if you have won, as well.) After that time, a new winner will be picked.

Thanks to everyone for participating and to Anne for entertaining us and sharing her book with our readers.

Don't miss out on these giveaways:

"Strings Attached" by Mandy Baggot
Ends 10/30 at midnight EST


"Aftertaste" by Meredith Mileti
US only
Ends 10/24 at midnight EST

Breaking the ice with Mandy Baggot, plus a book giveaway (the only strings attached here)

**Giveaway is now closed**

Mandy Baggot lives near Salisbury in Wiltshire with her husband, two daughters and two cats named Kravitz and Springsteen. Her first foray into the world of writing involved New Kids on the Block and the England football squad. She is a huge fan of white wine, rum and coke, Bruce Willis, "Neighbours," ice dancing (watching not participating!), horse racing, rock (especially Bryan Adams and Lady Gaga) and country music and mashed potatoes. She has auditioned for "X Factor" and longs to perform a duet with Bryan Adams. In each of her books, there is a character named Milo. She has written three books that have been published already: "Excess All Areas," "Knowing Me Knowing You" (reviewed here) and "Breaking the Ice."

Her next novel, "Strings Attached" will be released in November. However, one lucky reader anywhere in the world has a chance to win their choice of a paperback or Kindle version of this book!

You can find Mandy at Facebook, Twitter and her website, where you can even listen to her singing. She's here today to tell us what sends her into a fit of giggles.

Check out the trailer for "Strings Attached":



Funniest chick lit novel?
Oh I’m going to be really boring and predictable but, for me, there is no chick-lit book funnier than Sophie Kinsella’s first Shopaholic novel "The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic." Kinsella is brilliant at making Becky Bloomwood completely mad-cap but still keeping a sense of realism to her skits that we can all relate to.

Funniest book character (chick lit or any kind)?
For the same reasons as above – Becky Bloomwood!

Funniest song?
They Might be Giants – "Birdhouse in Your Soul." Great tune but what was it all about?!

Funniest quirk you had as a child?
Hmm I had a few of these! I sucked my index finger instead of my thumb (and still do this sometimes when I’m tired!) and I had a plastic toy figure that belonged to a play-set I used to take everywhere – actually I still do!

Funniest thing you heard a kid say?
The other day my youngest daughter was describing pictures in her school book and I was trying to help her get to the word ‘angel’. So I said ‘you know, who helps God and carries the people up to Heaven when they die’ and she said ‘Abraham’. Bless!

Funniest thing that happened to you recently?
A delivery man rang the doorbell (that doesn’t work right now) and I was just finishing off my Zumba exercise in another room. I walked into the lounge and he was peering through the window (obviously to check if someone was in because no one had answered) and there I was in nothing more than my bra, knickers and a fetching leopard print scarf! Embarrassing!

Favorite inside joke you have with anyone you know?
Me and some other members of Loveahappyending.com have taken to spelling LOL (Laugh Out Loud) as LOLL. We got a bee in our bonnets about spelling one day so I said I was going to spell it with two Ls and the phrase would now be (Laugh Out Loud then Louder).

Favorite comedian?
Michael McIntyre. He is a Brit comedian, a very camp straight man who tells jokes about life in general and is frighteningly good at dancing!

Favorite humorous quote? (from a movie)
"Sir this channel is reserved for emergency calls only…"
"No sh*t lady, does it sound like I’m ordering a pizza?"
Die Hard (1988)

Funniest TV or movie character?
Howlin’ Mad Murdoch from "The A Team!" He made that show!

Special thanks to Mandy for entertaining us with her zany sense of humor and sharing her upcoming novel with a lucky reader.

How to win "Strings Attached":
Please comment below with your e-mail address.
(Please note: Entries without an e-mail address will NOT be counted. You can use AT and DOT to avoid spam. Or provide a link to your facebook page or blog if you can receive messages there.)

Bonus entries (can be listed all in one post):
1. Please tell us: What is the funniest song you've ever heard?
2. Follow this blog and post a comment saying you are a follower (if you already follow, that's fine too).
3. Post this contest on Facebook or Twitter or in your blog, and leave a comment saying where you've posted it.
4. Join Chick Lit Central on Facebook. Edit settings if you don't want to receive a lot of messages at your e-mail account. Please read our posting guidelines, as well. (If you're already a member, let us know that too.)
5. Add a friend to our Facebook group. (Tell us who you added.) Be sure to remind them to edit their settings.

Giveaway ends October 30th at midnight EST.

Book Review: The Empty Nesters

By Becky Gulc

Described as writing 'fiction that gets beneath the skin of family dynamics,' "The Empty Nesters" is Nina Bell’s fourth novel. "The Empty Nesters" explores how a series of friendships and relationships progress and become re-defined when the 'children' who have cemented their relationships (perhaps more than they ever realised) for as long as they can remember leave school and head off to university. Will the bonds still exist? What will some of the parents do when they are no longer 'needed' at home?

To be honest, I don’t think this would be a book I would have chosen myself as I didn’t necessarily feel I’d relate to the core characters who are all in their fifties, I’m not yet a parent so I also wondered how I would warm to the central focus on the impact of the ‘empty nest’. What I did like about this book from the beginning is that I knew it would be different to many of the 'chick lit' books I’ve read recently and I welcomed what sounded like a sophisticated examination of a range of relationship dynamics.

The book focuses on Clover Jones and Laura Dangerfield – best friends ever since their children were born; both married, both not quite happy. Much of the book is written from their viewpoints. Along with Clover’s 'powerful' and single-parent friend, Alice, the families have shared their lives, their childcare, their holidays, their parties, even their DIY for as long as they can now remember! Clover and Laura are both stay at home Mums, so they are hit hard when their nests suddenly become empty, exposing a range of relationship and personal issues that have been glossed over for too long. Without wanting to give anything away, the core relationships and friendships are all tested within this book using different plots and twists and turns along the way which keeps the reader guessing right up until the end. You really don’t know what relationships will survive, either through adultery, ill health, possessiveness or simply taking someone for granted.

It took me until I was about halfway through the book to really get into it. To begin with, I just found that there were too many characters and names to remember and I was quickly forgetting whose children belonged to whom. I would have found it easier if the number of friends referred to outside the core characters was kept to a minimum, really. I also felt like too much of the story was being told through character dialogue within the first stages of the book, to the point of not appearing like natural conversation between partners or friends. There is obviously background information we need to know as readers but I felt this could maybe have been conveyed through internal dialogue a bit more.

On a positive note, I found the second half of the book much stronger, and I really did look forward to picking it up each night and seeing where it was going to take me next. There are a couple of story lines in the book that really keep you intrigued and guessing right until the end which I enjoyed, and as a reader I felt satisfied with the outcomes, which is always a plus! I also felt in the second half of the book, it was much more clear to whose viewpoint I was seeing. And as I delved much more into the minds of Clover and Laura and their internal reflections, it made me warm to each of them much more throughout the remainder of the book.

Overall I enjoyed this book and would recommend it if you fancy reading something that’s thought-provoking. It’s a great book about friendships and how they can change over time and sometimes never be what you thought they were, but sometimes be deeper than you ever considered. Despite wondering whether I would relate to the characters and the plot, this didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the book at all, and in fact added to it as it felt almost like a breath of fresh air.

Book Review: Wedlocked

By Melissa Amster

Have you ever wondered if you made the wrong choice? What if this happened on your wedding day? And what if your belief was confirmed even after that day? That is what happens to the heroine of Bonnie Trachtenberg's debut novel, "Wedlocked," when she realizes she spent more time planning her wedding than choosing who to spend her life with.

Rebecca Ross wants nothing more than to be an actress. However, she learns that acting may not be the career for her after facing multiple rejections. When she is spurned by a Hollywood director, in more than one way, she puts her tail between her legs and goes back home to live with her parents. In doing so, she meets Craig Jacobs, a so-called "nice Jewish boy," and promptly marries him. Only after the rings and vows are exchanged does she realize that she may have made the biggest mistake of her life.

When I started reading this novel, I didn't know what to expect, but soon I found myself completely drawn in and captivated. "Wedlocked" is Iris Rainer Dart meets Jennifer Weiner with a few zany plot twists added in. It was such a compelling story with well-developed characters and plot and fun Jewish humor. It had the feel of a chick flick without even being on the big screen. I felt like I really knew Rebecca and developed a kinship with her throughout the story. She had a lot of moxie, even during her really low moments. There's even an "armchair adventure" in this story, so to speak. The descriptions Ms. Trachtenberg uses makes it even more enjoyable! I also rarely have moments when I laugh and cry at the same time while reading a story, but I can guarantee that I did for this novel!

I tend to get hung up on certain pet peeves when I read a novel and this one contained two of them. The first was having an adult call her parents "Mommy and Daddy." It's enough that she had to live with them in her 30's, but why add insult to injury by making her sound like a five year-old? There were also some time inconsistencies which had me confused on Rebecca's age or the actual year events were taking place. (For example, aging her 13 years in the span of 10 years, unless I read something wrong?) There were also a bunch of spelling errors that should have been caught by an editor before going to print. Finally, like a bunch of books I read, this one tied up a bit too neatly. However, I wanted good things to happen for Rebecca and was glad when they did.

Overall, I really enjoyed "Wedlocked" and can't stop thinking about it. I've been recommending it to all my friends and want to recommend it here, as well! I think Ms. Trachtenberg has a real winner on her hands and I wish her tons of success with it.

Bonnie Trachtenberg will be visiting CLC in November and we can't wait to chat with her about this novel! In the meantime, she'll be selling it on Amazon at 99 cents for Kindle, from November 1st through 3rd, along with 35 other novels. Visit WoMen's Literary Café for more details!

You might also like:

Blogs of the week

Our recent feature is "Blogs of the Week." Each week, we will feature a reader blog (which has to be sent to us) and an author blog (which can either be sent to us, or we'll pick one at random). This is our first week doing it and we hope to keep the momentum going for a while. Please check out the blogs we are sharing. We're sure the bloggers would love some friendly comments on their posts or a follow.

To have your blog featured for a future shout out, please e-mail us. The blogs can be anything: personal, book themed or something else you're interested in that you write about (movies, fashion, pets, career, etc.)


Reader:

Seaside Book Nook

Jilleen Hays loves to read and could spend HOURS at Barnes & Noble wandering the shelves. Her first love of books is chick lit, young adult, good ol' fiction and mysteries (just can't be too scary). When she's not reading, she works as the Director of Accounting for a health system, teaches accounting class for the state university, and attends many, many practices and games/events of her three children. She also loves to scrapbook and knit when she has a few extra minutes in-between everything else. She even has a scrapbook blog!

Her dream is to live my the water (ocean preferred) and own a quaint bookstore that serves the best coffee in town. She also hopes to write a book someday (even if it doesn't sell!). The book would be fiction, but would be based on her mother, who was an amazing women in so many, many ways. The book would be a gift to her children who didn't get much time to know their grandma before she passed away.

You can find Jilleen on Facebook.

Author:

My other side

Swati Sharma is a novice fiction writer. She has written a chick-lit novel, sent it to publishers and is hoping for good news soon. She loves good chick-lit and Hollywood chick flicks. She not only reads books but deeply, truly adore them. Aside from her books, her three prized possessions are her Blackberry, coffee maker and laptop.

What's in the mail today?

Amy:

Won this from Atria Books Facebook page:



Won this from Chick Lit is Not Dead:



Got this from Amy Hatvany for review:

Outside the Lines: A Novel




Won this from Girlfriends Book Club:



Becky:

Got this from Katherine Owen:




Got this from Little, Brown:



e-book:

Got this from Laurel Mayer:



Got this from Entangled Publishing:



Got this from Malena Lott:

What does Melissa A. find so funny?

The authors aren't the only ones answering questions about what they find funny. All of us at CLC are doing it too! Here are Melissa A's answers!

Funniest chick lit novel?
All time: "Bridget Jones's Diary" by Helen Fielding
Recently: "Take it Like a Mom" by Stephanie Stiles

Funniest book character (chick lit or any kind)?
I have to go back to my childhood and choose Amelia Bedelia. I read her books to my kids now and still laugh out loud!

Favorite comedy film?
"Moving Violations." The dialogue between Fred Willard and Wendie Jo Sperber has me doubled over in laughter, but the whole movie is just hilarious!

Funniest TV show?
These days, it's "How I Met Your Mother." (And I still think Melissa P. is leading a double life....)

Funniest song?
Most songs on the "Avenue Q" soundtrack. Some I shouldn't post titles of here as to not offend anyone. :)

Funniest quirk you had as a child?
I didn't like being naked and would take baths in my swimsuit.

Funniest thing you heard a kid say?
Recently, I was discussing the tooth fairy with my older son (age 6) and asked him if it was a boy. He put his hands on his hips and got into sassy mode while saying "The tooth fairy is always a girl!"

Funniest thing that happened to you recently?
My younger son was being indecisive about dinner, so we put our foot down about him eating what we gave him. Then he put his foot down too...literally. He had the angriest look on his face (as angry as a three year-old can get) and he started stamping his foot and then he tried to throw one of our kitchen chairs. He just managed to tip it over, but the dramatics were so funny that it was hard to stay mad at him for long.

Funniest misunderstanding?
When I was in high school, I was on the phone with a friend. My dad called in on call waiting and asked if my mom had turned the grill on. So I yelled over to my mom to ask her. Then I switched back to my friend and my mom came in and asked why my friend wanted to know if the grill was on. After that, I'd call my friend to chat and the first thing I'd tell her was that the grill was on.

Strangest thing you find funny?
That Diane gives Lloyd a pen when she breaks up with him in "Say Anything." It just seems so ridiculous!

Favorite inside joke you have with anyone you know?
My husband and I like to change the names of fast food chains to make them sound more Jewish. (Ex. Wendy's is "Vendy's.") We recently did it for Chuck E. Cheese and put a huge emphasis on the "Ch" to make it sound like a Hebrew name. (It sounds like you're clearing your throat if you say it the right way.) Our older son heard us doing this and once he knew what we were talking about, he started going around saying "Chhhhhhhhuck E. Chhhhhhheese."

Favorite comedian?
Pablo Francisco and Jake Johannsen. I also have a fondness for Margaret Cho. I even met her (in 2001)!



Favorite humorous quote (from a movie)?
"If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis." Billy Madison (1995)

Funniest TV or movie character?
So so so many to choose from! I love Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) from "How I Met Your Mother." I made a list of some others though.
As for movies, the one who stands out the most is Johnny from "Airplane!" ("I can make a hat...or a brooch...or a pteradactyl!")

Favorite joke?
I learned this a long time ago and taught it to my kids recently. It's just clever.

"Want some ice cream, Ernie?"
"Sure, Bert!" (say it out loud...I'll wait.)

My sons even add an Ernie laugh at the end. :)